Microblog: Why I Love the Gym

I was just having a conversation with a friend and decided it needed to be shared with all of you. *Caution, explicit language*

Backstory: I joined our local Y again on Sunday and have worked out twice. And now I'm obsessed with going to the gym. This is why:

me: honestly, being at the gym is such a nice break for me. I probably like it now more than I ever have. Because Billy is safe and playing with new fun toys and being watched by professionals

it's such a nice break for me!

 Lindsey:  ooh yeah, i bet!

 me:  I always saw moms dropping their kids off and never understood it

to me, before I had a kid I always thought "But don't you want to spend every second every day with them!?!?"

and the answer is no. no, you don't.

You want to get the hell away from them. a lot of times.

 Lindsey:  HAHAHAHA

 me:  it's like a puppy! If you want a puppy, you think MAN! HAVING A PUPPY WOULD BE THE GREATEST EVER AND I WOULD SQUISH IT'S FACE AND SNUGGLE IT FOREVER

and then you get one. and it shits in your shoe.

Having a baby is a lot different than having a puppy...but in some regards, it's exactly the same. 

If you need to find me, I'll be at the gym. 

Read More

New Year: Better Me

My resolution last year was to keep things the way they were. I finally felt like I had come into myself and loved where my life was. I feel like I did an ok job keeping that resolution the first half of the year, but the second half (READ: WHEN I BECAME A MOM), I stopped thinking of myself and only thought of my son.

Not a bad thing! Until I started questioning who I was and what I stood for.

This year, my resolution is to be better to myself. That's all.

I am starting the year off right thanks to a Christmas gift from Hubs: I get a free latte every day the whole month of January with my sweet tumbler.

This way, every day I have to take 10 minutes to myself. I have to get out of the house, breathe a little fresh air, and enjoy a beautifully free caffeinated beverage. All for me.

Other "me" indulgences I plan to enjoy this year are weekly yoga classes with a friend, mani/pedis as often as I can afford them, and maybe (big maybe) I'll get back on a horse this year. A friend suggested I start trying to ride once a month, then bump it up to every other week, then to once a week if it fits in my schedule.

I have learned the best way for me to be a better mom and be a better version of myself is to take a little time away from my boy. I love him with every ounce of myself, but I appreciate him even more when I step away from home for a few minutes or hours every so often and come back to him.

I hope these things will aid me in being a better wife as well. I tend to be pretty old-fashioned in my view of "wife" – I like cooking, cleaning, caring for our child. However, the reality is that I work full time and I just can't do everything myself. Being better to myself and taking breaks will help me with that little bit called "patience" that so often gets lost in marriage.

What will you do this year to be better? 

Read More

Endless Cycle of Eating Habits

I'm finding that my eating and health habits come in a cycle.

Week 1: I'm going to eat healthy AND work out because I deserve to feel better!!
Week 2: I can cheat a little..I ate REALLY well last week...and worked out...twice...
Week 3: Screw you all, I'm eating everything I see. Step away from my ice cream cone. I'm never working out again.
Week 4: I feel pretty terrible...I cheated all last week...what's another week of eating garbage?! I probably look fine. My pants shrunk in the wash.
*Repeat*

See the trend? Girls, you can probably understand where I'm coming from in that "Week 3" pit of emotion.

I'm currently in a "Week 1" mentality and kicking myself when I look in the mirror. Cellulite? Double chin....arm fat?Come. On. But, there's a major problem...today we packed 85% of our kitchen. I have zero pots, pans, knives or spices available. Not to mention, that whole Grocery Challenge 2012 thing is in effect for 4 more days (gasp). Not that it matters, because we will be eating all of our meals out for the next 10ish days until we move in & unpack our gear & can cook a meal. So, I'm going to start tracking my meals and counting calories *shivers* in these final days, to see how my eating habits are. I know this is a false reading, since I have no kitchen and typically we eat at home during the week...but I just need to get into the habit of tracking what I'm consuming.

Next, I need to find the motivation to work out. I tried that whole circuit training schtick twice and let it fade away like a distant memory. Kind of like the memory of how great I felt when I worked out everyday. Thanks to Pinterest, I have discovered a blog to inspire me. This particular "pin" grabbed my attention, because the left photo is (I feel) pretty accurate to how I am now, and the right photo is what I want to look like.

Muffin TopLess

So, who wants to be my buddy? I want to start tracking my meals and workouts using MyFitnessPal, and I want to share it with someone so on bad days I have someone telling me, "You are weak" and on good days, "You are strong." This blog isn't about health & fitness, or I'd just blog blog BLOG away right here. I'm thinking of starting an evening email thread. Who's in? 

Read More

Eternal Epiphany

Remember that time I told you how it's okay that I'm not the same size I was when I was 18 years old?  Well in this moment, quite frankly I feel like that's a pile of crap. Here is my current epiphany:

Epiphany Phase 1: Yesterday on my walk with Princess, I proudly paraded down a (very) main road near where we live wearing: very old leggings (which you can see directly through..classy, I know), a sweatshirt tied around my waist (because somehow in my 35 minute drive home I hadn't realized it was 75º outside - and this way at least my rear was covered from the transparent leggings) and an oversized t-shirt which at one point in Bill's high school career belonged to him (complete with some type of blade graphic and name of heavy metal band). As I plopped along heading East, I looked down at my shadow. For a split second, I wanted to look behind me to see who the fat guy was that was about to attack Princess and I...then I realized, the fat guy was me. What the heck!? Where'd that cute, sporty, skinny girl go? I swear, she was just here!

Epiphany Phase 2: Fast forward to later last evening, sitting on the couch with Princess, enjoying 6 or 9 sugar cookies, scrolling through the photos from Heidi's Bachelorette Party. I kept seeing the same thing, photo filled with pretty girls, then one whale in a green dress. Wait, what? Oh...seriously?!

Epiphany Phase 3: Tonight while mowing down some Arby's (I said we wouldn't grocery shop, I never said we wouldn't grab a bite here & there...) my tiny little tank top crept up my waistline while my tiny little shorts slid down (I wanted to feel CUTE on my walk tonight, gosh darnit!!) and before I knew it, a spare tire had escaped my clothing and was resting comfortably on my thighs as I leaned over to inhale a few more curly fries. Okay, okay, okay. I get the picture, self. It's time to make an effort.

See, I had hoped that this simple "walking" thing would work out. I haven't ridden seriously in almost a year now and that burned roughly 700 calories a day. I hoped maybe just the 200 calorie burning walk would suffice...but my gut and 'wings' have proven otherwise. I can barely look at my arms in the mirror without getting queasy. Tonight I decided to step it up and try one of those thousands of "quick workouts" floating around Pinterest.

"'No Nonsense'!? I like it already," I thought to myself. "I am tough. I can handle 'No Nonsense'" ...until I got about 2 lunges in and screamed "NOOOOOOOOO I HATE THIS" in our living room. (Princess watched this whole process and laughed hysterically in her doggie brain, no doubt) By the time I got to the burpees I was crying out instead of counting out loud...and I stopped once I finished with push ups. I didn't notice until right now that the list went past "push ups", since I was so excited to be finished, stretch and shower that I must have just blacked out. At one point I also remember saying "I WANT TO DIE". Don't even get me started on the "Repeat 3x" listed on the bottom - that was never going to happen.

After my ice bath....er....shower, I folded the last load of laundry and my arms shook from weakness. I wondered how I let myself go this far without caring that I'd lost all muscle tone. I've always HATED working out, so it makes sense that I wouldn't do it without being forced...but why was mediocracy okay with me for so long?! I guess it was just the comfort of wedded bliss.

I know one thing now, I will make an effort to do this workout every time I go for a walk & over time, I hope to be able to finish this list...maybe someday even do the "Repeat" part! I'm still not sure about that "3x" portion, but I'll take baby steps. I will make an effort to be better, because I deserve it. I am better than this. I am beautiful and I can make an effort to continue to better myself and my body. I am YOUNG! My body deserves a chance to look it's age.

Have you had any epiphanies lately? Tell me about them!

Read More