Maternity Necessities

Well, I'm winding this pregnancy down. Just saying that sends kind of a jitter through me.

It's so bittersweet. I probably won't be pregnant again. This is it. The final countdown.

Two of my friends had their babies this week - within a few hours of one another. I'm ecstatic for them and it makes me giddy to think about meeting Mo....and yet I'm so conflicted at the same time.

A very close friend of mine just had an intense labor and delivery experience and I was texting with her and her husband throughout the process. Consequently, I was so wrapped up in her labor that I couldn't sleep that whole night. The following evening as I laid down to bed, weak with exhaustion both physically from not sleeping and mentally from the highs and lows of labor via text (she delivered a perfect, beautiful baby boy) all I could think was, "Thank God tonight I do not have a newborn to wake up and nurse all night. Thank you, Mo, for brewing a little longer."

Then the flip side...I can't wait to dress Mo in all of LW's clothes. I already have his going home outfit laid out. (Full disclosure: last night I had a moment of not being able to sleep because I was worrying I may forget socks for Mo to wear home. As if a baby will need socks. In June.) 

I can't wait to nurse him and snuggle him and wear him in a ring sling. And at the same time I am so enjoying feeling all of his kicks and wiggles and thumps around inside me. See the conflict? The struggle is real, people.

All I can REALLY do is try to enjoy as much of the remainder of this pregnancy as possible. All seven weeks one day of it. Give or take.

Here are a few things I've really loved this time around:

1. Maternity pillow

I started using this...maybe the night after I found out I was pregnant. Sleeping in it is the happiest place to sleep on the planet. I even brought it along for a weekend getaway with my Jamily. Right now I have to sleep 3/4 of the way on my back because if I put any pressure on my belly, Mo has a meltdown in there. This pillow always offers the right amount of support for me in all the right places, no matter what position I'm sleeping in. 

2.  Good maternity jeans (Kohl's)

I have Gap jeans from my previous pregnancy and they are fine, but I feel like they are always falling down and it drives me crazy. I assumed all maternity jeans did this since they lack a waistline but these jeans from Kohl's taught me otherwise. Plus, they're boot cut so I can wear my big, dorky gym shoes without feeling like a big dork. 

3. Sleep nursing tanks

Is there anything Pea in the Pod doesn't do well?! I only own two or three items from them and they are the softest, most magnificent things I've ever put on my body. My sister in law handed down some of her maternity and nursing items and the sleep nursing tanks (different from pictured above but still amazing) are SO comfortable. I wasn't sleeping well wearing a maternity sleep/nursing bra but I needed SOME kind of support. These camis are the perfect blend. And give me another reason to look forward to putting on my jammies at night. Plus, these I will be able to use through nursing Mo. Bonus! 

4. Smoothies 

There is no surprise when I say being pregnant is tiring. The thought of being sick while pregnant and having a toddler to manage is downright unbearable. Somehow I have discovered a smoothie that has *knock on wood* kicked every tickle in my throat since I've tried it. 

I'm not kidding. Every time I get as much as a tummy ache or a tickle in my throat, this smoothie is magical. Originally posted on WIFMK. It is: 

50% Kale or romaine (I prefer kale) 

a thumb of peeled ginger

1 peeled lemon

honey

chia seeds

splash of elderberry syrup

handful of frozen fruit

water and ice to suit 

So simple. So random. So epically powerful. It just KNOCKS the ick right out of me! This blender has also been priceless because I use it for everything. Including muffins. 

5. Maternity belt

I have been SO LUCKY this pregnancy to have little to no sciatic pain. SO LUCKY!!!! But, my low abdomen and my low back feel very strained if I don't wear this puppy a majority of my day. It's also helped limit/stop my contractions if I'm out on a walk. 

I always used to find these things unnecessary, but two babies in two years does a number on your body...and some of us need all the support we can get! 

What were your maternity necessities - the first or second time around?? 

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Some Notes on Me Lately

Hi! I've been so busy lately I haven't been able to fill you in on much via blog - however I have been posting little nuggets on Instagram, so follow me there to stay in the loop! Here are some notes on my life lately:

I feel more at home in the new house than I have ever felt anywhere but my childhood home – actually, I feel more at home here now than I do at my childhood home. Maybe because Hubs grew up here and knows every finicky light switch, every creak in the floor and every stubborn door knob but maybe just because we know this is it. We've reached our final 'landing' place and we couldn't be happier. I absolutely love our new home.

Working full time from home with a toddler is hard. Like....HARD. But, every day I seem to find new tricks to make it a little better (like hiding grapes around the kitchen so I can work and he stays off my keyboard!). Toddlers are delicate because one day they hate watching TV, the next they will sit and watch a whole show. One day they love playing blocks and will stack/knock them down for an hour, the next they think blocks are stupid and cry if you suggest them to play with. I'm constantly changing and evolving as a mom just like LW is constantly changing and evolving as a boy! 

I have taken time for myself a lot lately because I have learned I really need it. One way is by putting new Jamberry Nails on every week. Last week I sported Midnight Celebration and this week I'm sporting Alphabet over Deep Sea (both discontinued). I feel so girly and fun when I have cute nails! It's like they belong on Pinterest all the time. I also got a massage this weekend. Whoa. 

Slowly but surely, Hubs and I have started to acquire pieces that will make this house 'our' style. For the first time ever we have matching bedside tables. I can't even begin to say how exciting THAT purchase was! Plus, at the same garage sale we scored a vintage, ornamental mirror for our entryway and a super cute bench for LW to sit at in our bedroom and look out the window, one of his favorite past times. I thought the blue color in the Greek key pattern on the bench would be close to the blue on our walls and it is nearly the exact shade. All four of these items (two tables, mirror and bench) were $40. We win! 

Oh, and window treatments!!! I scoured Bed, Bath & Beyond this weekend and came up with a winning combination that won't break the bank. I found the rod ($6) and valance ($4 on clearance) plus bought a set of honeycomb cordless blinds that are regularly $39.99 on clearance for $16.99 and I used a $5 coupon....That would mean I just dressed that whole window for roughly $22. Bang. I'll post another pic once Hubs hangs the blinds and when I know the size works, I will be going back to buy them hopefully for the all other windows we need blinds on! I knew I was hoarding those $5 coupons for a reason. 

As more pieces of the home come together, I will share more photos. For now...don't hold your breath for a "home tour" like the one on the old house because I just don't know if we will ever be "done" decorating this house! 

And, if any of you are in the Chicagoland area or know someone house hunting in the Northwest Suburbs of Chicago....please SHARE OUR HOUSE THAT IS FOR SALE. THAT is the real home-tour to see ;) 

In the coming weeks I hope to at least decorate the front of our home with festive fall items. Bales of straw, pumpkins, gourds, mums and the like. I follow John Colaneri on Instagram and not only do I want every beautiful accent in his home to be in my home, this weekend he and his wife decorated their front steps. Swoon! 

Here are a few other front steps that I love for fall...Happy Decorating! 

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Why I Go To Church

I'm sure you're reading the title of this post thinking, "Because God is good." - I mean, that's why most people go to church, isn't it?

I agree, God is good. All the time. But this week while I sat in the pew listening to my pastor's sermon I took a deep breath. Probably the first one I had taken in a week. I'm about to say something bold...

I go to church to get away from life. 

Don't get me wrong, my life is wonderful, beautiful and about as close to rainbows and unicorns as you can get... but sometimes I just need to breathe.

I go to church to listen to adults speak. I go to church to breathe for an hour, without a toddler tugging on my hands and arms and ears. I go to church to unwind and for an hour a week, I can have time to just be. I don't owe anyone a meal. I don't have to teach anyone life skills. I can just sing along to songs I have kept in my heart for years. I can drift into a state of consciousness that wonders and wishes.

Many days I pray throughout the day. I hear tidbits of news stories or receive texts from friends with good news and bad, and as the days progress I pray throughout. I don't go to church to pray. I go to church to think.

Of course, church is filled with other joys and concerns of the community which help encourage me to get involved or learn more about those around me. But really, I'm selfish. Sometimes I don't want to get involved, and sometimes I can't bear the weight of others. I just want an hour to escape and think. Once I have thought, I feel rejuvenated and ready to get involved.

I think I had a lightbulb moment this week. They call it a "sanctuary" for a reason.

Why do you go to church? 

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The Tub Turd

I've learned recently that there comes a sweet part of toddlerhood. The part where your child listens (sometimes) when you say, "No," or "Please bring that here," or, "Be careful". The part where you can calmly sit and watch bath time without jumping every time they lose their balance in the tub.

This time, I've learned, is also the poop-in-the-tub stage. They are now comfortable enough while they sit or stand in the tub without you hovering that they start to make that face. That horrible, terrible, hilariously innocent and guilty all at the same time..."Poop face".

It happened to me this weekend. I was sitting there, enjoying a moment of relaxation while I watched Billy take a bath and thought, "Boy isn't life grand!" and WHAM. There it was: Poop face. Promptly followed by a turd in the tub.

Panicking, I didn't know what to do. My immediate response was both immature and inappropriate. I laughed. Well, laugh is probably too light. I burst into an unrestrained, tears down my cheeks, full-bellied cackle. Billy thought it was so fun to see mommy's fit of hysteria that he too began to giggle.

"WHAT DO I DO?!" I shouted, mid-scream-laugh. Without thinking, I reached in with my bare hands and plucked the turd from the water. Then, startled by the texture of my son's freshly released feces, I laughed so hard that I dropped the turd on to the tile floor. SQUIRRRRT it jittered across the floor, leaving skid marks in its turdy trail.

"OH GOD!" I shouted to Hubs. "I LAUGHED SO HARD I DROPPED IT. I DROPPED THE POO."

Shaking with laughter, I picked it up between my pointer finger and thumb and plopped it into the toilet, squealing while I rushed to flush that bad boy down. Immediately, I washed my hands.

While I dried my hands, I peered back into the tub where Billy had been giggling at me. Little did I notice the face he'd been making while I had my own episode....there in the tub, were two more turds.

"BABE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" I shrieked. "Get me a bag or something! HE did it again!!! POOP IN THE TUB! POOP IN THE TUB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

At this point I was dancing around the bathroom in disgust and confusion, while still overflowing with laughter. Arms flailing, tip-toeing around in my own tribal dance. Poo-dance.

All the while, Billy laughed. What a silly mommy.

Finally, I came to my senses and realized MY KID WAS BATHING IN SHIT WATER so that needed to be addressed.

Hubs came to the rescue with a baggie and the turds were extracted from the tub. The water was drained and I was able to compose myself long enough to scrub Billy from head to toe and shower him off with clean, non-turd-infested water.

Later, I asked on some Facebook groups what other moms do in this situation and learned some valuable tips:

If your kid poops in the tub, keep a cup nearby. Scoop the floaters and flush them down. DO NOT REACH IN WITH YOUR BARE HANDS. And for crying out loud, keep it together. Your kid could trip and fall in the tub and drown, you know. 

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Be A Breastfeeding Buddy

We started Billy on solids at 6 months as recommended by his pediatrician and chose to follow the "Baby Led Weaning" approach. We had a WONDERFUL experience with it and I can't begin to say what good it has done in every way.

The one thing I didn't expect is the name itself to be true....it really helped him wean himself. I had a goal of nursing for one year and at a year he was down to nursing two or three times a day. Less than a week later, he was completely uninterested in the breast. He would refuse, turn his head, spit his tongue at me, whatever it took to wriggle away, that's what he would do. 

I am giving myself a round of applause for following his lead because I think as mothers we should follow our babies lead a little more, and our own wishes a little less sometimes. It was so hard for me. 

A few months into my nursing journey I wrote this post where I admitted to being a "snotty breast is best mom". I still agree that breast is best, but you don't know the journey others experience. I struggled tremendously when I started nursing Billy. I was brought to tears for months when he latched on....8-10 times a day, every day. For months. But I had a group text (and still do today! Shout out to Becca & Sara) with two other exclusively nursing moms, along with a lactation consultant and a midwife on speed dial to help me any time of the day or night (not to mention my own mom for support). 

My dear friend Lauren is a hardcore "breast is best" mom also. However, her son was a formula baby. And let me tell you why: 

Within the first few weeks of nursing, Lauren was diagnosed with mastitis twice. The second round of antibiotics didn't work, and the mastitis developed into a staph infection...which then became an abscess the size of a lemon that was growing in her breast. 

She was rushed into emergency surgery to remove the abscess and for weeks she had to drain the infection site and apply bandages to herself. All the while, she kept pumping her "good side" just to maintain a supply to help her son receive breast milk. 

Only 8 weeks into nursing, her journey was forced to a halt when her doctor told her it was time to give up. 

All of this is heart breaking, but what's more is that her doctor never directed her to a lactation consultant. He never told her she could continue nursing on her 'good side' only and sustain her child for a year of breastfeeding and beyond. The education was never presented. 

I was brought to tears when I started nursing because of pain and emotion, and I was brought to tears (for an entire day) when I realized our journey is over...but nothing saddens me more than hearing stories like Lauren's when the opportunity for an education on breastfeeding was available and simply not presented. Not her OBGYN, or her son's pediatrician OR her team of surgeons was open about the truths and possibilities of breastfeeding. For years of planning for motherhood all she wanted was to exclusively breastfeed her child and the professionals she looked to simply failed her. 

I would be lying if I didn't admit to feeling guilty every time I offered my son a breast while her son had to sit and take a bottle. I felt awful when I mentioned to her how "excited" I was to "be done" nursing. 

Well, now I'm done and it's really freaking sad. I miss it and I know I did the best by Billy, because I listened to him but I am sad for all of the mothers like Lauren who just aren't given the right information and aren't able to experience this journey of nursing.

If you or someone you know is interested in or new to breastfeeding, BE A BUDDY! Before you deliver, have a lactation consultant's number ready. Learn the time and place of your hospital's breastfeeding support group (most have them!) and make a plan with your OBGYN and pediatrician explaining your breastfeeding goals. If your ped isn't on board, find one that is. Reach out to Facebook groups of other moms and talk to everyone you know about breastfeeding. It is a wonderful, beautiful gift and as mothers we need to help those around us experience it to the best of all of our abilities. 

Don't let "breast is best" moms be told no. Let them choose their path based on the education that the experienced breastfeeders can offer.

Billy nursing, 10 days new :)

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Take A Step Back

Growing up, I was a competitive equestrian. It is an expensive sport, and my parents couldn't afford to buy me the best horses, so my mom taught me early on to appreciate what I have. My parents worked very hard to give me everything they could to support my passion and the lesson still sticks with me today. My mom always said, "There will always be someone prettier, with a more expensive horse, a nicer trailer who can go to more horse shows than you can. Learn to enjoy what you have."

I have chosen the life I live and I love it. I have friends who travel the world and teach children in other countries. I have family who travels the world for work, visiting new states and countries every day or every week and it's all they've ever wanted to do. Me? I chose to work a desk job, live in the suburbs, be married and have children.

And then there's this guy:



Which...seriously, what person could watch that and not think, "Damnnnnn. I should have done THAT with my life!"

But then I take a step back and look around me.

I could choose to see the mess, or I could choose to see how blessed we are with family that loves us and spoils this perfect, precious little boy. That boy whom I nurtured and grew in my body and gave birth to. Who I get to spend all day every day with. Who I am currently listening to as he teaches himself the "Guh" sound.

Right now there are about 5 different musical toys playing songs all at once. The washing machine is so noisy I can hardly hear myself think and although I just cleaned two days ago, more surfaces than I am willing to admit are covered in a fine layer of cat hair.

I could see those negatives, or I could see that we live in a beautiful, now fully updated home. We always have clean clothes to wear. We share our lives with healthy, happy animals.

My sink is full of dirty dishes, because we are able to buy and cook food.

While it is important to have goals, dreams and aspirations, I think it is equally as important to take a step back and think "What I have is awesome too" rather than, "I wish I had what she has". The grass isn't always greener.

Love the life you chose to live. If you don't, then change it. You control your happiness.

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Look Up!

Well our month of giveaways + 1 bonus is over and I now have a 1 year old boy. Where does the time go?

Some days I feel like I've accomplished nothing, then I'm still so exhausted by night that the instant Billy goes to bed I sit on the couch like a lump and read my phone. I don't even think anything interesting is shared, but I lay there and stare.

This video has gone viral, and it's very clear to see why. I promise it's worth the 5 minutes of your time.


I say over and over and over again, "I need to be less dependent on my phone. I need Billy to realize there is more to life than life through screens"

Since the weather here has finally become enjoyable I try every evening after work to go outside and enjoy the yard with Billy and Princess. I walk with neighbors and try to have everyone over as often as possible to escape the world of screens.

I think I will start leaving my phone tucked away at night after Billy goes to bed and take out my Kindle instead. Still a screen, but at least my brain will be put to good use rather than reading mush in my feeds. (I do that enough all day!) The nights I have the energy, I will do something crafty and creative with my hands like make cards or sew. Doesn't that sound like more fun than scrolling through your news feed?

How could you start to "look up" and put your brain to good use?

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Confessions: Lent

I wasn't sure what to "give up" this year for Lent. Usually I just promise to do more for others instead of myself, and then I forget and do almost nothing differently and generally move on with my life.

I'm not sure if it's the hormones that come with motherhood or what, but I seem to have a ceaseless need to improve myself because I constantly feel I am failing myself and those around me.

Last night a friend of mine (who happens to be a pastor) posted about the Lenten practice of learning to love more deeply, with a link to this book. Immediately, I began to think about Lent differently.

In response to her post, I commented this: ...I was wondering what to give up for Lent and hadn't considered an emotion. 

Overall I am an extremely happy person but with the stress of running a home, being a mother, working full time (from home) and continuing to fuel the fire of my marriage, anxiety is practically my middle name. This turns to stress and anger in the flip of a switch and I am not proud of that. Maybe this year I embrace love and happiness rather than give up something. Hoping that embracing the good will naturally abolish the bad.

Can you relate? I am embarrassed about the things I get angry over.

Just last night I struggled to put together a piece of IKEA furniture and Bill joked, "I wonder what new words Billy learned from watching you do that." That would be a red flag.

I have a beautiful life and I vow to spend more moments celebrating the good than scorning the bad. Starting today I will embrace love and happiness. Envelop the good. Abolish the bad.

For the next 40 days and beyond, I will be singing "Happy" and counting to ten rather than let me stress and anxiety turn to anger in a moment.

*Clap along if you know what happiness is to you* 

Who's with me to be HAPPIER, beginning now?? 

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Friday Confessions

I'm obviously World's Worst Blogger, let's just call it how it is. Being a mom + working full time + whatever = I'm the worst. I'll just admit it.

On top of that, there are about seven hundred things a week that happen in which I am too embarrassed to admit other than to my closest friends. Then, I realized, you are my friends too. Why shouldn't you hear the embarrassing confessions I make? Queue a new segment, Friday Confessions. 

I'm calling this "Friday" loosely, because if something happens on a Wednesday I may just get crazy and share it then.

This week several tremendous changes occurred in our world.

1. Tile!
Yesterday and today a crew has been here installing TILE in a small portion of our basement and on the backsplash in our kitchen. I'm elated about that, not embarrassed...but I had to tell you and since I'm already here... well. yeah. So here is an eensy-weensie sneak peek.

2. Diapers.

You all know I am dedicated to cloth diapers. Addicted is probably a better word, actually. Well, after months of battling ammonia build up and now a few weeks of ammonia burns, I had to make the very difficult decision to use disposables for overnights. 

Long story short, I decided experimenting with nighttime solutions that last and don't cause ammonia burns is not fair for Billy because he suffers the pain of not sleeping and the pain of the burns. I suffer by getting up with him every 2-3 hours every night, all night. It is also a tremendous expense to invest in a new round of nighttime cloth diapers, which may not keep him dry the full 12 hours because he is such a heavy wetter. 

So, I painfully bought some disposables this week and he's been in them the last two nights. His burns are healing well now and we will continue to use 100% cotton prefolds during the day, which do not cause burns or rash of any kind on him :) It's those pesky microfiber* inserts that absorb so much at nighttime that we can't seem to get right, so that chapter has closed for us.

I feel like if I didn't tell you then I wouldn't really be being honest because I would be omitting the truth. I love our cloth diapers and it saddens me that we cannot use them 24/7, but Billy's health and comfort comes first. In this case, that means using one disposable diaper per day. I can live with that. Especially if it means that I may get more than 90 minutes of sleep at once. 

*We have been using a BumGenius 4.0 pocket-style diaper stuffed with charcoal bamboo and hemp inserts. Sadly, the combo is the only I found absorbent enough but the charcoal bamboo is partially microfiber so it has caused this mess of headaches for us. 

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