Wednesday, March 5, 2014

Confessions: Lent

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I wasn't sure what to "give up" this year for Lent. Usually I just promise to do more for others instead of myself, and then I forget and do almost nothing differently and generally move on with my life.

I'm not sure if it's the hormones that come with motherhood or what, but I seem to have a ceaseless need to improve myself because I constantly feel I am failing myself and those around me.

Last night a friend of mine (who happens to be a pastor) posted about the Lenten practice of learning to love more deeply, with a link to this book. Immediately, I began to think about Lent differently.

In response to her post, I commented this: ...I was wondering what to give up for Lent and hadn't considered an emotion. 

Overall I am an extremely happy person but with the stress of running a home, being a mother, working full time (from home) and continuing to fuel the fire of my marriage, anxiety is practically my middle name. This turns to stress and anger in the flip of a switch and I am not proud of that. Maybe this year I embrace love and happiness rather than give up something. Hoping that embracing the good will naturally abolish the bad.

Can you relate? I am embarrassed about the things I get angry over.

Just last night I struggled to put together a piece of IKEA furniture and Bill joked, "I wonder what new words Billy learned from watching you do that." That would be a red flag.

I have a beautiful life and I vow to spend more moments celebrating the good than scorning the bad. Starting today I will embrace love and happiness. Envelop the good. Abolish the bad.

For the next 40 days and beyond, I will be singing "Happy" and counting to ten rather than let me stress and anxiety turn to anger in a moment.

*Clap along if you know what happiness is to you* 

Who's with me to be HAPPIER, beginning now?? 

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