Email Marketing Scares Me

As a marketing professional myself, I know how email campaign planning works and I am not against email marketing. My first job out of college was designing email campaigns, so I am acutely aware of how that system works.... That said...

Sometimes I feel like Better Homes & Gardens stalks my life.

Every time I tweet or blog a project I'd like to do, within 24 hours I will get an email from Better Homes & Gardens on that exact subject.

Today, the creep factor escalated to a new level when I opened my email and saw an email from The Bump about weird pregnancy dreams. I'm no stranger to pregnancy dreams (since it is the first instinct that told me I'm having a son...) but this one was just weird.

This morning just before I woke up I was dreaming about being at a baseball game. I don't remember anyone I know being there, but beside me was a brand new mom and her teeny, tiny baby boy. I kept oohing and aahing over him and finally the new mom turned to me and said, "You look like a better mom than me, can you please hold him and make him stop crying?"

She looked like she hadn't slept in days and by the looks of her son, he had only been around for a few days.

(so why were they at a baseball game?! And why was I? I hate baseball...) 

I lovingly took the baby and snuggled him close. Within moments he stopped wailing and fell fast asleep.

Filled with pride, I looked over at the new mother who had magically transformed into a perfectly made-up super model type. I smiled and whispered, "Looks like he just wanted to snuggle!"

Just like that, the baby peed all over me. 

"Uhm, your baby just peed all over my dress." I explained to the woman. She stared at me blankly as though I were speaking a foreign language and I repeated, "Your son peed on me. Do you have a fresh diaper for him?"

Super Model Mom burst into gasping sobs explaining she didn't know how to change a diaper, so she was hoping I could show her because she hadn't done it yet.

Remember when I told you it looked like this baby was DAYS old? Yep. Same diaper. Days old.

I said, "No wonder he was crying!", showed her how to change his diaper in the bathroom of Wrigley Field (seriously gross if you've experienced it...) and the dream was over.

I wonder what The Bump would say about that one.... 

What weird pregnancy dreams did you have?