Humble Pie

There is a blog post floating around the Chicago Mom scene (read the full post here) about the "New Rules of Mommyhood". It's been posted in all of the mom forums I am a part of on Facebook and several friends have shared it as well.

I have to say, as I read it I felt like I was eating one big, fat slice of humble pie.

Since I wrote my Word Vomit post about how frustrated I am when moms quit breastfeeding because they just get sick of it, I've basically felt like a horrible human being for admitting those thoughts out loud. I won't delete the post, but just know that I feel like I belong in the cast of Mean Girls or Orange is the New Black. Or something else where girls are ruthlessly cruel to one another.

Granted, the mistakes I have made, I have learned from...but I've basically done every single thing on this list. I do not like that one bit. My thoughts are in italics - I've abbreviated the full "rules" and you can read them in their entirety through the links below. 

The New Rules of Mommyhood 

(By Baby Sideburns)

1. You are not allowed to brag that your kid sleeps late all the time. I totally did this when Billy was itty bitty. Karma is slapping me in the face now because I'm lucky to go a night with fewer than three wake ups. 

2. You are not allowed to talk about how easy it was to get preggers. Guilty again. 

3. You are not allowed to judge other moms for anything about breastfeeding. This would be the Word Vomit post I mentioned. I breastfeed! Proudly! But keeping your baby alive is a feat and it takes a VILLAGE. If you chose formula, BRAVO! Your baby is alive and well and that's a huge success in the eyes of all moms. 

4. From this point forward, you are not allowed to buy anything for another child that you would not want in your own house. Totally bought a huge box of Duplos for a one year old's party and while I was wrapping it thought "I bet he has a thousand of these....and someday I will too...and I'll have to store them. UGH." 

6. You are no longer allowed to brag that you cooked a three-course dinner. Yep. Guilty again. Read, "Sweetest Day"

11. From now on for every happy, smiley, wonderful picture you post on Facebook, you are required to post a more realistic picture of a moment when your child was acting like the devil’s spawn. Contrary to what you may believe, this will make people like you more, not less. I DO THIS. So badly, I do this. Granted, Billy is ridiculously happy between the hours of 7am & 7pm. It's the 7pm-7am shift that makes me want to tear my hair out. But, the lighting for a pic of it would be terrible, so I don't post photos. In fairness, I HAVE posted a photo of him being ridiculous on Instagram: 

Allow me to explain this photo. For a few weeks (around 12/13 weeks old timeframe) Billy was so unruly he just screamed all the time. I thought, "Wow this is terrible, he must be teething" because I am a first time mom and know absolutely nothing about babies, including my own.

It wasn't until I read Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child that I realized my son wasn't teething, he was showing EVERY. SINGLE. SIGN. IN THE BOOK (literally) that he was over exhausted. I had no idea. I was living with a tiny, sleep-deprived demon of a child and had no idea. I just kept pumping the Tylenol in him. He'd fall asleep from that, then wake up and be happy again. WOO! I thought I'd solved it all.

What's my point? Oh. That it takes a village and I'm sincerely sorry if I ever offended anyone with my parenting opinions or tactics shared on this blog. We're all out there to survive. And with my little Billy boy waking every 2-3 hours to nurse all night long like the good 'ole newborn days, I'll admit that I'm barely surviving.

Now, go snuggle your baby. Because you're a great mom. I am learning to be one too.